FAQ: Can I bury my miscarried baby’s remains in the backyard?
The short answer: With the approval of a priest, possibly, but we can’t recommend it as faithful Catholics.
Now for the long answer…
This is a common question that families ask when navigating the aftermath of a miscarriage: “What do I do with my child’s remains, if I have them?”
As with all things related to the loss of a preborn child to miscarriage and stillbirth, the Church does not speak with crystal clear language about how to handle the bodily remains of a lost preborn child specifically. Some priests in the “webosphere” have gone so far as to insist there is not obligation to do anything at all with the body of a miscarried child.
I categorically disagree. We can draw simple conclusions that dictate what we ought to do, based on our firmly held convictions about what we believe about human life and the sanctity of the human body and soul.
In the Church’s silence, and in our grief and human nature to want to “handle” things as quickly and easily as possible, burying our miscarried children in our backyards or a flower bed, seems like the logical thing to do. But living out the corporal works of mercy is not about doing the easiest or most expedient thing. It’s about loving God by loving those entrusted to our care by Him, fully and properly.
If we believe the Church’s Teaching that human life begins at the moment of conception, and one cannot be a human being without a soul, then why wouldn’t we treat the body of another human being with all of the dignity and respect of another, simply because it is tiny? The Culture of Death likes to use euphemisms for the preborn child, calling them “pregnancy tissue.” We must not allow those lies to creep in when we suffer a miscarriage.
The truth is that when a miscarriage occurs, the bodily remains that the mother must labor to deliver is hard to discern as human, mostly because the tiny baby is enclosed in a gestational sac. That does not mean that they are LESS human or LESS WORTHY of a proper burial.
It does not seem right, or holy for that matter, to bury any human body in the same fashion as the family pet. We simply cannot create the sacred space that is befitting the purpose of a cemetery alongside our neighbor’s fence, children’s play structures, and the barbeque grill. This is why we have cemeteries and columbaria. And thankfully, in the Diocese of Colorado Springs and within the Archdiocese of Denver, CO, we have multiple low and no-cost options that provide reverence and dignity, in a truly sacred place. Our most recommended location is Holy Innocents Hill at Queen of Heaven Catholic Cemetery.
To quote Catholic Life of The Catholic Diocese of La Crosse, in the article Choosing a Sacred Place for Burial, “When choosing a place for burial, whether for traditional or cremation burial, choose a sacred place, A CATHOLIC CEMETERY.”
For more information on this subject visit the following:
Gallery of Cemeteries & Columbaria Part 1: https://heartofmyheart.org/delivery-aids/gallery-of-cemeteries-columbaria/
Gallery of Cemeteries & Columbaria Part 2: https://heartofmyheart.org/553-2/
Burial Resources: https://heartofmyheart.org/delivery-aids/
FAQs About Miscarriage, Cremations & Columbaria: https://heartofmyheart.org/faqs-about-miscarriage-cremations-and-columbaria/