Cremation is a common choice for families when deciding how to lay their loved one to rest. So, it is no surprise that many families come to Heart Of My Heart wondering what the path looks like to cremate their miscarried or stillborn baby. To help families navigate this common preference to carrying out the corporal works of mercy we’ve compiled this Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) article.
Can I obtain an urn for my child’s remains from HOMH?
We do not offer urns for miscarried children at this time, but we can offer the suggestion to visit HeavensGain.org/baby-urns/ or check with a local funeral home to see what options they have. Heavens Gain has an abundance of options, including some beautiful options befitting our Catholic faith.
What is the first thing I should do once I have properly recovered my child’s remains and preserved them (see Caring For Your Child’s Remains), when cremation is our preference?
If cremation is your preference rather than burial, you will need to contact a local funeral home such as Dignity Memorial. Even if you are not inurning your child at a columbarium or cemetery affiliated with that funeral home, you will still need to go through them to have your child’s remains cremated.
Cremation usually costs between $100 and $150 for a preborn child. You will also need to obtain a Fetal Death Certificate, as per Colorado law. The worksheet to obtain one of these certificates is available HERE (under Caskets, Vessels & Preparation of Remains). Your funeral home can assist you with completing and filing it.
What do we do next?
While you wait to have your child’s cremains returned to you, you can make the decision of where you would like to lay them to rest. There are multiple options for the cremains of preborn children in the Diocese of Colorado Springs area.
One option is Mt St Francis Columbarium (https://stfrancis.org/columbarium/). They offer a Holy Innocents niche for families to place their miscarried children’s remains in, at no cost. If you prefer to purchase your own niche, you can discuss options with Mt St Francis Columbarium. St Mary’s Cathedral Columbarium (https://www.stmaryscathedral.org/columbarium) also offers niche’s for purchase, as do many local funeral homes such as Dignity Memorial.
What is a “niche” at a columbarium?
“A columbarium niche, a small area where your loved one’s urn is stored, works similar to the way a person’s body goes in a funeral plot. Niches, however, are not in the ground. A cremation niche is a special place where friends and family can come and pay their respects or spend time with their loved ones in other niches. These unique locations are one of several types of cremation monuments” (joincake.com)
Why do I need a niche at a columbarium? Why can’t I just place my child’s cremains in an urn in my home, sprinkle them off a mountain or place them in a piece of jewelry to always have them close by?
Although these practices have become increasingly common, they are actually not in line with the teachings of our Catholic faith. According to the Congregation of the Doctrine for the Faith’s document Ad resurgendum cum Christo (“To rise with Christ”) (ARC), “When, for legitimate motives, cremation of the body has been chosen, the ashes of the faithful must be laid to rest in a sacred place, that is, in a cemetery or, in certain cases, in a church or an area, which has been set aside for this purpose, and so dedicated by the competent ecclesial authority (ARC 5).”
For additional details on this subject, please visit the Catholic Answers article “What We May and May not Do with the Body After Death.”
For additional information and options for laying your miscarried, stillborn or infant child’s remains to rest in accordance with our Catholic faith, please visit the Burial Options tab on this website.