sEmotionally speaking, enduring an at-home, early miscarriage can truly feel like voluntarily dragging oneself through broken glass. Everything about our broken sinful world and the culture of death whispers that not only is it not worth it to try to preserve the remains of our miscarried children for burial or cremation, but that it isn’t even a baby that you have delivered through tears of grief and the genuine pains of labor.
We know as People of Life, that a new human life has been created from the moment of conception. When you have lost a child to an early miscarriage it is not mere “pregnancy tissue” you have delivered, even though your child may not yet look like a baby. It IS a baby, a human life made in the image and likeness of our Blessed Lord.
As we all know, looks can be deceiving.
So, what can we do? And what ought we to do?
I have found through multiple Catholic websites and ministries the belief that there is no moral obligation to bury our miscarried children. With all due respect to them, Church Teaching makes a very strong case for the reverent handling of our miscarried children’s remains, whenever possible. It is as simple as asking the question, was this a human life? We know the answer is yes, no matter how small they are, and therefore the Corporal Work of Mercy of Burying the Dead (CCC 2300) applies.
This is where it can start to feel like you are dragging yourself through broken glass. We get it. We have been there. You are not alone in this, and we are here to help you to navigate it. The first step, is trying to recover your child’s remains.
When a miscarriage is anticipated and you believe it will occur at home, the opportunity presents itself for the use of a Miscarriage Delivery Aid. A Miscarriage Delivery Aid is a kit that contains a few ordinary items to make it easier to recover your child’s remains for a reverent burial or cremation in accordance with our Catholic faith.
Miscarriage Delivery Aids are available at no-cost to families who reside in Colorado Springs, CO and surrounding areas. Currently, Heart Of My Heart has partnered with Life Network’s Colorado Springs Pregnancy Centers, who have generously agreed to distribute these delivery aids out of each of their 3 pregnancy centers, no questions asked. You do not need to be Catholic or a member of the Diocese of Colorado Springs to receive one. You can also CONTACT US DIRECTLY and a Heart Of My Heart volunteer will get a delivery aid to you as soon as possible.
If you bear the cross of serial miscarriage and would like a kit to keep at home just in case, we are able to serve you in this need as well, in addition to our fervent prayers for you and your child.
What about those who live outside of the area we directly serve, or live in another state? Ministries like Heaven’s Gain sell Miscarriage Delivery Aids very similar to ours, or you can utilize our document Caring For Your Child’s Remains, for inspiration to pull together materials to make your own delivery aid, and most importantly, what to do in this situation.
It is a painful reality that what we know is a human life, can be so difficult to discern in the course of an early miscarriage. The baby is often encapsulated in the gestational sac, which truly does look like mere pregnancy tissue. But the baby IS there. Mustering every grace our Lord and His Blessed Mother shower down on us in our grief and loss, and with this knowledge, we can try our best to recover and bury or cremate our little ones.
It is important to be gentle to and with yourself, and to know, that whatever the reason, if you are unable to recover the remains of your miscarried child…it is not a failure on your part. The shock of grief and loss can paralyze us. Sometimes a miscarriage can begin out of nowhere. There are a myriad of reasons.
It is not always possible. We know that, and God knows that. And in His most merciful and loving nature, He does not expect the impossible of us.
For more assistance with burial and cremation in Colorado Springs, Denver, and surrounding areas, please visit our pages on Burial Resources and our Gallery of Cemeteries and Columbaria.
Disclaimer: This article is not meant to constitute medical advice, nor can it replace appropriate consultation with a medical professional. Any miscarriage should be brought to your medical provider’s attention, as soon as possible, for your health and safety.